The Saga of Ole Blue... Alaska

Since the family camp up at Leech Lake Minnesota, the call to do battle with Ole Blue began. It seems that during the flood stages of the Mississippi - Fall of '85 - Ole Blue escaped and headed through the Panama Canal and on up to Alaska. He wanted to get as far away from Texas as he could. Big fish don't like Texas.

I went north, therefore, to do Missionary work first, and yet there was the whisper of Ole Blue always.

I knew right away that he knew I was there because the very first day I dropped a fishook in Crab Creek in Craig, he noticed it. The very next afternoon he sent five killer whales across the bay in front of our house as a warning to me.

Up and down the Inside Passage he followed us from Craig to Haines and from Haines to Juneau and Berner's Bay. I believe that is one reason the fishing wasn't very good last summer.

~The Flat Tortilla
Fall 1986

Texas Aggie Jokes

It seems that two Aggies wanted to make quick, easy money. They went into the loan shark business. They lent all their money out and then skipped town...



Two aggies went into the hay business. They bought hay in East Texas for two dollars per bale and sold it in West Texas for one dollar a bale. The truck driver returned and told about how great the business was, people were buying it as fast as he could get it there. So, they decided that business was so good that what they needed to do was buy another truck.

From:

The Flat Tortilla

Fall 1986

Something to Smile About

Time now for a couple of jokes published in the Flat Tortilla in the fall of 1985:



Q: What's a piano that has fallen down a mind shaft called?
A: A Flat Minor...



Doctor to Patient:
"I have bad news, and I have worse news. Which do you want first?"
"Give me the bad news first, Doc," replied the surprised patient.
"Well," said the doctor, "You have only 24 hours left to live, you have cancer."
"Wow, that's bad, isn't it? What's the worse news?"
The Doc answered, "I knew it yesterday, but forgot to tell you."



A man went to his psychiatrist. He said, "Doc, I am really worried. I've begun imagining things. First I imagine that I'm a wigwam, then next thing I imagine I'm a teepee. Do you think I'm going crazy?" The Doctor replied, "No, you're not going crazy, you're just too tense..." (tents?? ha ha)

About the Roadrunner

This beautiful Southwest bird is referred to as the "Clown of the Desert" by some as it is a very clever and funny bird to watch. He prefers to run rather than fly, and can run as fast as twenty miles per hour. he loves the hot weather. He has eye shadow around his eyes. It might just be where the fad came from.

Roadrunners love to eat small lizards and snakes. Lizards are caught in the beak then pounded against a rock until dead, then eaten.

In Mexico, roadrunner meat is sometimes eaten. They say that when God finished making the birds he had some feathers, long bones, beaks and feet left over, so he put them all together and the result is the (Paisano) or Roadrunner.

There is a story going around in Arizona that is believed by some and doubted by others that the Roadrunner can build a fence of cactus around a sleeping rattlesnake and thus trap, kill, and eat him. (See pic below.)

It is said that a stew of roadrunner meat is good for tuberculosis. It is also good for backaches, itches, boils, lung problems, and leprosy... Another health tip from your esteemed editor (smile).

Bill Gibson
The Flat Tortilla,
Fall 1985

You might not believe this...

You might not believe this but:

A member of Bill Ball's church in Houston showed up one Sunday in Haines, Alaska. He said, and I quote, "I brought an ice pick along to pick the ice and permafrost to see for sure if under all that ice Alsaka isn't the same size as Texas."

We did have a lovely visit with those folks!

From: The Flat Tortilla
Fall 1986

That Old Sinking Feeling Is Back

In Matthew 14:30 we see Peter stepping out of the boat to come to Jesus walking on the water. Only Peter would think of doing that! Let's take a brief look at Peter starting to sink.



First: He was starting to sink, not because of some sin or doing something wrong, but because he was Peter. His temperament got him into this fix. The others used their common sense and stayed in the boat. Peter had to do something. Peter would begin to walk on water and Peter would begin to sink.

Second: He began to sink in familiar waters. He knew the lake like all fishermen do. Here he was among those who knew him. Here he was among those who loved him. Many start to sink when away from home and in strange places. How sad to start to sink among friends and loved ones.

Third: He began to sink after loyal discipleship. Faithful to the Lord and maturing in the faith. He was not a novice. Yet he began to sink.

Fourth: He was on a permitted path. The Lord had told him to come. It was not because he was out of the will of God. He was not trespassing. He had been invited to come. It is possible for us, even though we are in His will and doing what is right, to start to sink. How prone we are to judge another who is beginning to sink and lay the blame on him.

Fifth: The others in the boat were not aware of Peter's danger. It's hard to tell on rough water when one is starting to sink. They could not help Peter even if they knew he was starting to go down.

Sixth: Jesus was close by and Jesus was able to help Peter. He was the only one who could and the only one who would. Jesus was not surprised. He was there ready to help.

Application: It is possible for us to start to sink even when we are doing what is right and walking in His will. Our pastor, loved ones, and friends may not be aware of the danger. Isn't it wonderful to know that Jesus knows and is near and will help us when we call on Him?

Bill Gibson
El Paso, TX
Fall 1986

No Help Wanted

The sign in the store window read: NO HELP WANTED. As two men passed by, one said to the other, "You should apply - you'd be great."

~The Flat Tortilla, Winter 1987

Contributed by E. M. Unger

Comfort For The Changes Ahead

Changes are inevitable and become more difficult for us as the years go by. Wouldn't it be nice if there were no changes? Isn't it amazing that our God, who never changes, has ordained changes in our lives?


The inevitable changes are not difficult. We seem to enjoy the change from summer to winter or day to night. It seems to be the unexpected changes that bother us. Those changes that we thought would never come, seem to throw us.

In Psalm 55:19b we read, "... Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God." The changes we fear are what draw us to the Lord many times.

David is going through great change as he writes Psalms 42 and 43. In 42:8 he mentions some of the comforts we can count on during the struggle. "Yet the Lord will command his loving-kindness in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life."

• Loving-kindness in the daytime ... in the sunshine when all is well.
  David mentions the loving-kindness of the Lord many times. Jeremiah in Jer. 31:3 "... with loving-kindness I have drawn thee." Jer. 32:18 "Thou showest loving-kindness to thousands."
  
  Loving-kindness is to be seen in the daytime and enjoyed.
  Loving-kindness is to be shared with others.
  
  The blessings we enjoy today do not come because we have earned or deserved them. They come from the loving heart of God through grace. Therefore, share! Unto whom much is given, much is required.


• Songs in the night ... these are felt in the heart expressions of love and heard with the ear.
  Job 35:10 "...God my maker, who giveth songs in the night;"
  These songs in the night come from God.
  
  It is in the night when we grow spiritually.
  It is in the night when He strengthens us.


• My prayer to the GOD OF MY LIFE
  
  In the day or in the night of change, we ought to pray continually to the God of our life. Remember... He is the God of our life if we know him as Saviour.

Who or what is the god of your life?

Bill Gibson
The Flat Tortilla,
Winter 1987,
El Paso Texas

The Flat Tortilla

Those of you who have known Bill and Gladis for many years may remember that lively little newsletter "The Flat Tortilla". It was published in the 1980's through the early 1990's. I don't have all the issues, but I have several, and I thought it would be fun to post quotes, jokes, and the little tidbits of interesting information found in them.

Eventually, I plan to have those little newsletters available for download, maybe in a pdf format. Until then, you can read everything that's been posted so far by following this link: The Flat Tortilla.